Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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