can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
