well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
