Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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