Don't make out with my wife yet
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
