Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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