Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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