I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We need a shit load of segways right now
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
