I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
