the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
