Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
