Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
