All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
