I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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