Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
