..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
