doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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