Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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