The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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