You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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