Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize