It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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