haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
