they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
