I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
