why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
