I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
it hurts more in the daytime
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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