He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
