Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
