just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize