Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Pants are for mortals
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
