What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Pooping to opera.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
