I wannas sexs uuuuu
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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