He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
