Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
