shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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