i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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