we made out on top of his cat.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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