God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
