I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
