I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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