Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I have tasted many bathrooms
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize