hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Pants are for mortals
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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