eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
