why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
