His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
