I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
