I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
