very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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