Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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