This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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