hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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