its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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