her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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