Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
