Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
