Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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