I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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