Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize