College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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