Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize