You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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