Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
