College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
