Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Your penis caused this!
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