it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's never too late to be topless.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
